March 15, 2010

Patience...the lost art.

Greetings from the deep end!
"It's okay honey. The baby will come when she's rea...OUCH!" I must be the only man in history to get hit by his pregnant wife. Well, I haven't actually been hit yet, but if I am not careful Pam is going to lay the smack down. It will hurt. I'm not trying to be annoying. I'm just an impatient person who is trying very hard to learn to be patient. My wife is eight point five months pregnant and IMPATIENT. So much so that she has no patience for her impatient husband who is trying to learn to be patient and thinks that she needs to learn to be patient too. Oops, sorry. My bad! I forgot that a pregnant woman can do no wrong.
There are some other things I forgot too. Like, there is a child inside of her. I don't think that I would want to be patient if I had a six pound alien pushing on my bladder, ALL DAY LONG. I probably wouldn't put patience so high on my list of priorities if I had a six pound bowling ball trying to split my pelvis from the inside. Did I mention that babies like to kick and punch and stretch from the inside too? Yea, they do, I think that would make me really angry. I would hit my husband if after a long day of suffering trying to create and sustain life all he could say was, "its okay honey. The baby will come when she's rea...OUCH!"
So, as for my patience. Where does that leave me? That's right; I get to practice the great lost art of Ninja Patience. That is, I get to be quiet and keep my patience training to myself...and uh...most importantly...keep my mouth shut. It would seem that patience being the virtue that it is, I should practice it with humility and grace, being more comforting to my wife than "helpful". Patience can't be about misery finding company. I must realize that waiting "patiently" while complaining is not actually being patient. Patience is defined as; quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence. I need to make sure that as I practice patience it will serve my wife to comfort her, to calm her, to help her wait out the next few days. Also, it should help me keep from getting my tail kicked by a pregnant lady.

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