April 8, 2010

Idiosyncrasies of a Half-Brained Father

Greetings from the deep end!
Three weeks have passed since we have become four. It seems like an eternity. But not in a bad way...well, there is a bad cause for the feeling but it is natural I think. Last night I got home from Youth at about 9:45pm. I had a snack and read some of a book and stayed up hoping that Aryll would go to sleep so that Pam and I could go to bed at the same time. I put the book down at 11:00pm and had planned to go ahead and go to sleep because Pam wanted me to as I had to get up this morning for work. Right after I had put my book down I half rolled over and began to stare at the door. I stared and stared until Pam came into the room. I asked her what time it was and she said it was now 11:30pm! I stared at an open door for thirty minutes! Not only did I stay up until 11:30 and stare at a door (A DOOR!?!) for thirty minutes, but I woke up ten minutes before my alarm at 6:40 this morning.

I have never slept so little as I have since the girl was born. I still function for the most part but if this is growing up, I am not sure I want to anymore. I enjoy sleep; I think it should replace baseball as the national pastime. I actually think that sleep already has become our great nation’s pastime but has not yet gained the title. Growing up is, however, the purpose of my humble little blog, referred to in the title. The "deep end" is referring to my trek into adulthood, and thus justifying this essay as a proper addition to my accounts.

The title of this addition to deep end begins with the word, "idiosyncrasies". Because the word ends in an "s" we know that it is referring to more than one (or multiple) items. The lack of sleep and the zombie like effect it causes are only two of the idiosyncrasies of a new father that I have noticed. Interestingly enough, I have only noticed them this time. I believe that when my son was born, as he made me a true "new father", I was too far gone to notice much of anything. In fact, my earliest memories of Xander's life begin about two months ago. Anyhow, there are a few more issues I have noted, and in no particular order...
  • Twitches, shakes, and knee jerk reactions - These may all stem from one or both of these two causes; lack of sleep and/or the copious amounts of coffee used to combat the other effects of lack of sleep. I guess that really only leaves one option for the root cause of the twitches, shakes and knee jerk reactions - lack of sleep. However, these are still separate conditions from lack of sleep (aka; LOSS - Lack of Sleep Syndrome). 
  • Having the appearance of a long time stoner - As well as being a direct effect of LOSS, having the appearance of being a long time stoner is augmented by the inevitable puke stains acquired from the little one.  
  • The inability to say anything of consequence and the annoying habit of spouting gibberish at random and often inappropriate times - Rather than simply attributing this symptom of new fatherhood to LOSS, I have explored and am leaning toward the cause being three fold. 1.) The mass change within the household a new child brings. 2.) LOSS 3.) The19 month old terror that has decided he wants to be terrible and two NOW! 
  • Being perpetually half-brained - At this juncture, the reader may think to themselves something along the lines of, "Derick, you have always been perpetually half brained!" And that reader may be correct, but I do not believe that I have ever been this half brained. 
  • Prayer life increases - Interestingly enough, and all joking aside, having been at the bottom of the energy barrel for three weeks, I have a better understanding of what it means for God to be strong when we are weak. It doesn't just mean that when we are humble God is strong. I suffer from LOSS but have yet to get sick, or freak out or truly lose my mind, because in the thick of it all, I pray and God continues to make up for my inadequacies. 
I listen to much more aggressive music than most people, and I believe that some of the best music, some of the best, most passionate lyrics come from some of the least likely places. This chorus from Flyleaf's song "Perfect" makes my point perfectly. :)

Perfect in weakness
I'm only perfect in just Your strength alone

Perfect in weakness
I'm only running in just Your strength alone 

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