I actually was in the deep end yesterday. Well, kind of. It only came up to my chest. I guess that I'm getting ahead of myself. Bring on the whirly-wiggly-fuzzy-edge-of-the-screen effects and let the story fade into sepia tone. It is time for a little back story.
I am and have been at Kamp Kinship in the Black Hills of South Dakota with Foursquare ONEcamp (dang, that's a lot of titles) since Sunday afternoon. Shortly after I arrived I took a moment to view the camp pond from a window in the sanctuary. I told Shawn that I wanted to go swimming. He laughed a little and said something along the lines of, "see that eight foot circle of rope? That's the swimming area." My plans to go swimming vanished instantly. I did notice, however, that the camp has a few paddle boats and kayaks. I thought that kayaking might be a fun thing to try.
Fast forward to yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon. I had nothing better to do, my kids were either at the zip line, the rock wall or the pond and I thought a nice leisurely trip around the pond would be a nice, relaxing thing to do. I get down to the pond where life guard Amy immediately spots that I am a trouble maker (she has no idea) and gives me the quick, "you gotta wear a life jacket that was made for a guy 1/32nd your size if you are gonna boat". Me, being quick to follow the orders of a sixteen year old with a whistle threw one on. It only smelled a little like fish and B.O. I was waiting on the dock when my kayak arrived. It was the smallest one on the water. A little tiny voice in my head said, "Maybe you oughta wait for a bigger one there Sketch". Sometimes my inner voice calls me Sketch. I told Inner Voice to shut up! I've been on lakes and water and boats my whole life! So I kneel down on the dock, Lyle is holding the boat steady for me. I get my feet in and without really thinking about it drop the rest of myself into the seat.
Have you ever had a time where you thought to yourself something along the lines of, "Wouldn't it be (crazy, weird, funny, crappy, etc...) if...." and then the thing you were gonna think of actually happened. As I slid into the boat it rocked to the right pretty hard. Inner Voice said, "Wouldn't it be interesting if..." Then the water started to rush into the boat with me. Water doesn't belong in the boat with me. I belong in the boat with me. Water is neither welcome or invited to the "me, myself, and I" party in the boat. Water crashed the party. Hard. As the water rose and my head started to go under the water I imagined Lyle on the other side of the boat helping it along. I would have if I were in his shoes. The life jacket that was meant for a person 1/64th of my size joined in on the fun and began choking me. Lyle got the boat right side up enough (THANK GOD FOR LYLE!!!) that I could kick my way out of the boat. I immediately ripped off the murderous life vest, put my feet down and stood up. The water came to mid chest. I looked down and was very glad that I had remembered to take the video camera out of my pocket (THANK GOD AGAIN!!!) My staff badge was full of water and one of the students that was swimming a little ways away said, "Hey Derick! Your puffer is floating behind you!" THANK GOD AGAIN!!!
That is my story. It happened mostly like that. I am now dry and nice smelling again. I was able to remove all sand and pond weed from my shoes, clothing and person. Didn't really learn anything here but you know what? I would be really embarrassed about this if this kind of thing didn't happen to me so regularly.
| “I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything.” Bart Simpson |
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